Bacon feature of the week -- Bacon alternatives?

We all know nothing can really touch bacon. Bacon is crispy, delicious, and the smell of it cooking is one of the most heavenly scents on earth. There is no real way to replace it. But sometimes, for health reasons, religious reasons or what, some people can't have it. So what are some alternatives? Here are a few, as well as what I have to say about them.

1.) Canadian bacon -- What a pitiful excuse for bacon. It's nothing but small ham. However, my Canadian boyfriend swears by it. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. I lump Irish bacon into this category as well.

2.) Turkey bacon -- Surprisingly not that bad. It's certainly nothing compared to the original, but if you're in a bind, turkey bacon is a decent choice.

3.) Bacon salt -- While it's great at adding bacon flavor to dishes, I wouldn't consider it an alternative. It's certainly a tasty addition to dishes that need some zest, but it's not like you could have it as a side for breakfast. At least, I'm not willing.

4.) Tofu bacon -- I have never had it. However, I am going to go with probably disgusting.

5.) Proscuitto -- This is my personal favorite. This is the alternative that actually really tastes like bacon. Now, I'm not talking about proscuitto straight from the package. It requires a bit of work. I heat up sliced proscuitto in olive oil in a frying pan until it's brittle, and it really tastes just like extra crispy thin bacon! The only difference is you don't have the greasy fatty parts. While those tend to be my favorite parts, this is a great alternative. I like to crumble it up and sprinkle on salads or pasta for a perfect bite of crispy saltiness.

What are some of your favorite bacon alternatives? Or perhaps you prefer sausage (teehee) to bacon?